I have an essay, However, i am a new learner for english, who can edit it for me ? Thank you !?

Due to the development of technology, many people are worried about their jobs, and afraid of being replaced by advanced machines. It is no denying that the majority of labour works are able to be completed by apparatus in stead of human beings nowadays. However, compared with the fast speed technology develops in, the rate of unemployment still remains stable, and even slightly decreases in some countries. It is an interesting phenomenon that the more developed the country is, the lower rate of unemployment the country has, for instance, America, UK, and Australia. So the improvement of technology has no relationship with the unemployment of workers.

The change of technology produces great effects on society, which makes employees redistributive. People have more money and time to spend, because the wealth in society accumulates much faster that before. It is noticeable that the need of the tertiary industry increases. The employees, who worked in industry and agriculture area before, are now in the tertiary industry. Many experts point out that, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it, according the evolution of high-tech.

It is widely acknowledged that technology have become an indispensable part of out society, which makes our lives and work more comfortable and less laborious. However, people ought not to neglect the negative effects on employees which are brought about by technology. Make sure technology is used in an appropriate way.

I have an essay, However, i am a new learner for english, who can edit it for me ? Thank you !?credit bureau

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I have an essay, However, i am a new learner for english, who can edit it for me ? Thank you !?

loan

hope this helps some.

i changed grammar errors only. you may want to restructure some of the second paragraph..

for example:

The change of technology produces great effects on society, which makes employees redistributive.

what kind of effects does technology have that makes employees redistributive?

It is noticeable that the need of the tertiary industry increases.

what is the tertiary industry?

also, the very last line %26quot;make sure technology is used in an appropriate way.%26quot;

what do you think is an appropriate way?

good luck!

Due to the development of technology, many people are worried about their jobs, and are afraid of being replaced by advanced machines. There is no denying that the majority of labor works are able to be completed by an apparatus instead of human beings nowadays. However, compared with the fast speed technology develops in, the rate of unemployment still remains stable, and even slightly decreases in some countries. It is an interesting phenomenon. The more developed the country is, the lower rate of unemployment the country has. For instance, America, UK, and Australia all have lower unemployment rates. So the improvement of technology has no relationship with the unemployment of workers.

The change of technology produces great effects on society, which makes employees redistributive. People have more money and time to spend, because the wealth in society accumulates much faster that before. It is noticeable that the need of the tertiary industry increases. The employees, who worked in industry and agriculture area before, are now in the tertiary industry. Many experts point out that, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it, according the evolution of high-tech.

It is widely acknowledged that technology has become an indispensable part of out society, which makes our lives and work more comfortable and less laborious. However, people ought not to neglect the negative effects on employees which are brought about by technology. Make sure technology is used in an appropriate way.|||Due to the development of technology, many people are worried about their jobs being replaced by advanced machines. There is no denying that the majority of labor can be completed by machines instead of human beings nowadays. However, compared with the fast speed technology developments, the rate of unemployment still remains stable, and has even slightly decreased in some countries. It is an interesting phenomenon that the more developed the country is, the lower rate of unemployment the country has, for example, America, UK, and Australia are highly developed countries, and have very low rates of unemployment compared to other parts of the world. So the improvement of technology has no relationship with the unemployment of workers.

The change of technology produces great effects on society, which makes employees transient. People have more money and time to spend, because the wealth in society accumulates much faster that before. It is noticeable that the needs of the service industry increase. The employees, who worked in industrial and agricultural areas before, are now in the service industry. Many experts point out that, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it, because of the evolution of high-tech.

It is widely acknowledged that technology has become an indispensable part of our society, which makes our lives and work more comfortable and less laborious. However, people should not neglect the negative effects on brought about employees by technology. Make sure technology is used in an appropriate way.|||While many people are worried about their jobs, and afraid of being replaced by technology and advanced machines, the improvement of technology has no correlation with unemployment.

While technology has replaced some of the tasks that people used to perform, people still work. Compared with the fast speed at which technology develops, the rate of unemployment still remains stable, with even slight decreases in some countries; the more developed the country is, the lower rate of unemployment the country has. This is seen in America, the UK, and Australia. People have more money and time to spend, because the wealth in society accumulates much faster that before.

However, people ought not neglect the negative effects that technology brings on employees. The employees, who worked in industry and agriculture area before, are now needing to get degrees to find specialized jobs. Many experts point out that it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it. This is evident in the soaring college admissions.

It is widely acknowledged that technology has become an indispensable part of out society. It makes our lives and work more comfortable and less laborious. But we need to make sure technology is used in an appropriate way.