How to begin the healing from death, divorce and depression?

lost my dad (my hero) in 97, had alcoholic husband left in 04 divorced 06. daighters 20 %26amp; 18 are with him to complete school where they have always gone to school, was so depressed before leaving him was ready to commit suicide. Whole family turned against me because I moved to an area with more jobs. The area I was in had very high unemployment rates and none of family would help. Ex called me fat, ugly, and stupid for years. I understand that was the acohol talking, but self-esteem was so wore down from it. Daughter called me b* slapped her and he threatened to beat the h* out of me just a couple weeks before I left. I miss my girls, oldest talks to me about every 2 weeks and comes to visit about 2X a year. Youngest refuses to have anything to do with me. not to mention, I still cry over my dad even after 10 years. How do I start to heal? NO insurance and workin for minimum wage $5.25 per hour. just go to work and go home no $$ for anything else. I can%26#039;t go see a counselor,.....

How to begin the healing from death, divorce and depression?loan rates

acceptance of whats happening to you would help.join a club that would become your support group..ex.church choir,bible studies,etc.

How to begin the healing from death, divorce and depression? loan

I think you can use this.

The %26#039;Doc as he calls himself in this website (blog rather) claims he can give sincere advice. the link is given below. He calls himself the relationship doctor. Join his mailing list and send him a detailed mail regarding your problem.

I think its worth a look-see. Won%26#039;t do no harm.

Cheers!!

http://relationship-doctor.blogspot.com|||Good advice from both, I would try to log onto a website that was suggested by schwinn, one of the ladies on yahoo answers, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ it might help, as i believe you would need all the help you can get, so your current marriage is in good health. Good luck|||I do reccmend councling. There are locations for counsling that go by your income. Either call your local Department of Family and social Services or even call a therapist and ask for information / contact numbers to locations that provide therapy based on your income. There are good therapist and there are bad therapist. some actually listen and help you express your feelsing and help you understand why you feel the way you do and help direct you in making some positve changes; then there are therapist that just sit there and look at you funny then at the end of your seesion that either tell you to came back and let them know how you are doing or even perhaps prescribe medications. Not to say medications are a bad thing, just as long as each person ends up taking medications that truly helps them. when a psychologist is in school they learn how the brain works and way to listen to people and learn ways to connect a persons%26#039; symptoms to the appropraite term but in my opinion what makes a good therapist is when %26quot;real life%26quot; and common sence is used when talking to a patient and truly listening to them and providing them with some direction to get feeling better and to deal with situations.|||do you pray? maybe that%26#039;s your answer|||Your life sounds almost like my life, there are only 2 more things that I don%26#039;t have and for these maybe this is where %26quot;you can begin the healing%26quot;.

Always remember, when you think you have it bad, there is always someone out there that is actually worse off than you.

I am alone and am still looking for work.

From a family of 6 siblings and only talk to 1 of them.

Raised 2 children on my own, now that they have their dad around, I%26#039;ve been tossed to the curb and kicked down by both kids, one of whom I paid to go to out of state college, I have 3 grandchildren and aren%26#039;t allowed to see them because my daughter said I care more about them than her, well now I do because of her statements to me.

so, I%26#039;m sitting here on a friday night, no hubby, only the sounds of my keyboard.

I know I%26#039;m sounding sorry for myself, but I only wanted you to know I relate to your depression.

You can contact social services by your local county name on the internet.

There are tons of services out there to help you and yes even counseling, I have my first appt. next week. (no costs)

My pride has kept me away from picking up that phone, but my reg. dr. who really knows me, knows how hard I use to work, knows about my family problems, has finally sat me down and explained to me, that sometimes, just sometimes we need help in being pointed in the right direction.

Take one thing at a time, write things down. I honestly could not be in a relationship right now, (for me, I don%26#039;t think it would be fair to the other person) that is only %26quot;my way of thinking%26quot;. right now, but then my self esteem is also low %26amp; I%26#039;d be terrified I%26#039;d even make the mistake of picking the wrong person. (just trying to make you smile:)

So if and it sounds like you do have someone that loves you very much, let him help you. I know I need to find peace within myself, that is what I am trying to do everyday.

Pray and keep God in your heart. Know you aren%26#039;t alone and try try try and stay positive:)

I miss my dad all the time, (he passed away over 16 years ago) but I feel he%26#039;s watching over me, I have too believe or there%26#039;s no reason to live, please keep your chin up and make that call...|||Well, first of all, I would go to a smaller church. Talk to a minister, and make some friends. Go free places, like libraries and pursue your interests there. Talk to like minded people on the internet.

About grief. Something that all adults learn, but that it would be cruel to tell children, is that loss is permanent. The pain never goes away completely. You can%26#039;t heal to the point where you feel like it never happened - it changes who you are.

But you can guide yourself and let others help you to the point where you can function, and find happiness again. You will always feel sad about the loss of your dad. That%26#039;s ok, it%26#039;s human. Just keep struggling to hold on tight to the good things about your father. Remember the fun and the love, and know that through your memory of him, he is still alive in you. He gave himself to you, and so you haven%26#039;t lost him, as long as you keep his memory alive in you.

And most important, get out of the house! some days you just can%26#039;t stand the idea of anything but work, home, work home, but that is soul killing. So even though you don%26#039;t want to, make appointments to go for a walk, and keep them like it was the law. Make a contract with yourself to visit the public library and read at least one book there, and no, downloading from the internet doesn%26#039;t count, that%26#039;s cheating.

Listen to music you used to like, do things you used to like to do. Rediscover yourself.